Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Lies Adults Tell Children (and the Effects They Have on Them)

10. "If you swallow gum, it takes 7 years for it to come out, or it may get stuck in your ribs while trying to pass. So stop swallowing your gum." --my mother

Gave me a psychosomatic stomachache. I was sure it got stuck.

9. "I found you under a bridge."--my father.

Thought it was the bridge behind the playground. Hoped they wouldn't return me to the bridge. Only dawned upon me after college that "bridge" in korean is the same word for "legs" in korean.

8.  "Ouch." --my mom, after I tickled her.

Really thought my tickling pained my mom until I asked her why it tickles for everyone else but hurts for her. She said it's to make me stop. I thought to myself, "Confusing, but good tactic."

7. "If you swallow, watermelon seeds, you will grow watermelons from your ears. Same with grape seeds." --my father

Worried all night about all the watermelons that would grow from the seeds I had swallowed before he told me this and wondered if it would hurt if I plucked the watermelons off.

6. During elementary school, Mrs. Kirby's hair went back and forth from strawberry blonde and platinum blonde. I asked her why her hair color keeps changing, and she said, "It's the change in the weather that changes my hair color." --Mrs. Kirby

I'm still confused if blonde hair changes according to weather.

5. "If you cut your fingernails at night, a ghost will come out and eat you." --Grandma

I cut my fingernails in daylight to this day, even as an adult, just in case.

4. "If you cut your hair shorter, you will grow taller." --Older girl at church

Nope, didn't help. Maybe I didn't cut it short enough.

3. "Santa Grandpa came last night to give you this card and gift."--Mom

Wondered why Santa's handwriting was the same as my mom's and wondered how he knew my korean name.

2. Caught my mom slipping a 20 under my pillow. She said "Uh...The tooth fairy told me to give it to you." -Mom, in the morning

The tooth fairy has 20's??? She's rich!

1.  [Tooth threaded] "Close your eyes. I won't pull the string." --Dad


Lesson Learned:
Adults lie to children because they love them. The children grow up loved, but slightly confused.




  1. hahahaha...i think half of these she secretly still believes...